The Mint Door Blog 

Giving Life to the Thoughts in Our Heads

Are Your Friends

Good for You?

Dr. Karen Tindall

Do you like to have a small number of very close friends or be part of a larger group (or what Taylor Swift would refer to as her squad)? Whichever of those options you prefer, I’m sure that over a lifetime, you will have had some great friends and some not-so-good relationships. 

Female friendships can be the most supportive and nurturing relationships, yet some can be energy-zapping and simply toxic. There are times in our lives when it’s easy to make friends and when finding new friends can be challenging. 

Consider how your friends make you feel.

Friendships can be classified into one of three groups.
1. Friends who give their time and love for you and receive your time and love. These are the friends who you want to keep. The conversation goes deeper and is free-flowing two-way communication. These friends care for you, and you care for them. The bottom line is that they make you feel valued and important.

2. Friends who are entertaining to spend time with and you can have fun with but something is missing to take it to a deeper level. These friends may be ’situational’. You work with them, you chat at school pick up or you’re maybe in the same yoga class. It can be nice to spend time with these people, but if they or you were to move, would you remain friends?

3. Toxic friends are the people who take your energy and good feeling and leave you depleted. Some people can be unintentionally toxic, while others may be fully aware of their actions. Anyone who leaves you feeling less than fit in this category. You do not need to be with these folks. 
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For positive friendships, make sure they fit into either group 1 or 2. Most people have a combination of the two. Any ‘friend’ in group 3 does not need to be someone you spend time with. As we mature, it is easier to understand who our people are. Everyone has lost or let go of friendships along the way. Some we regret, and some we can be proud that we chose to step back from.

We are happy when we have good friends because we align with each other. If something is feeling off in your friendships, consider which of the three groups your friendships would fit into. Remember looking after number 1 is vital. Protect your energy, and you will thrive. 

If you are looking for friends, know that every friendship starts by simply saying hello. Putting yourself out there can be scary. The feeling of your heart beating in your chest as you make the first move to say hi can make you doubt yourself. Do not let that feeling sabotage a potential friendship. Take that step, be brave and make the first move. 

Every friendship started off as two strangers meeting!


If you are keen to learn more ways to feel less burdened by friendship troubles join The Mint Door for our most popular virtual workshop: 
Unburden
When: January 19, 2023 at 7pm EST 
Where: Zoom Virtual Room
Link to Register: https://www.themintdoor.net/unburden-workshop 

This workshop will definitely leave you feeling more calm, lighter and unburdened. 


How Can 

One Size Fit All?

Dr. Karen Tindall

The concept that one product, piece of clothing, educational approach or idea will be universally suitable and successful is unfortunately flawed. While we can all agree if something worked perfectly for everyone it would be incredible but wouldn’t it also be a miracle?

Diversity is all around us and when we choose to embrace the differences we see around us we can lead more fulfilled and complete lives. By recognizing the differences and linking our similarities we can create opportunities where flourishing is second nature. 

At The Mint Door, we frequently use one of my favorite words, bespoke. A couple of years ago I sent a text to at least ten people to help me with my research and I asked them if they knew what I meant when using the term bespoke in relation to my coaching offerings. Not many did. I was told the world was “old fashioned”, “too English that Americans wouldn’t get it” and “perhaps it’s better used for a tailor who makes custom clothing!” 

Now, these people were not wrong. The Merriam Webster Dictionary wrote an article on exactly these meanings. However, I had a strong belief that bespoke really was the word that best described how coaching should be for every individual who receives it. 

Laura in her role as best business partner and advocate, immediately adopted the word bespoke. She saw my passion for the word and understood the importance of creating interactions, opportunities, and coaching that is tailored to the individual who is receiving it. As much as we can all attempt to wear the same one size fits all freebie t-shirt we all will not look good in it! 

The Mint Door definition of bespoke was created and here is how we use it!

The keystone of our bespoke service is to really listen to what our clients are telling us. We believe that every single doctor, practice, and clinic is unique. We devote time to discovering and understanding who they are and who they want to be. 

We intentionally create and develop an approach, program, and plan that aligns with their goals and dreams. We are passionate that this means all our clients benefit from an exceptional quality of service that by definition is exclusive to them. 

Bespoke cannot happen when we decide what works best. It is a co-creative process that evolves and grows as our relationship does with the practices we work with. No two practices will ever have the same program. That will never be successful. Our Stepping Stones Practice Wellness Programs are as unique as fingerprints. 

If you are intrigued as to what it feels like to have a bespoke Practice Wellness Program and how it will benefit your practice and your team it is easy to get started. 

We have a one-hour complimentary virtual lunch and learn style Harmony Workshop for you to experience. We promise that this is a no-sales zone and there is no obligation whatsoever. We simply want to show you the incredible potential of practice wellness and leave you and your team with a simple and actionable plan to have more harmony every single day. 

To reserve your Harmony workshop click HERE:





Squeezed for Time?

Life in healthcare is undeniably busy

Dr. Karen Tindall

“We have all the time in the world” sang Louis Armstrong in 1969 for the song that was used for the soundtrack to the James Bond movie On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. If only those words felt like reality!

According to a Gallup poll sixty-one percent of women younger than age 50 report not having enough time, compared with 48% of younger men who say the same. There is almost no gender difference in perceived time pressure between men and women aged 50 and older. This statistic is from the general population but it can only be speculated that the proportion of people in medicine and dentistry who feel they do not have enough time is even greater. 

Life in healthcare is undeniably busy. Tight schedules, unforeseen circumstances and our desire to do the very best for our patients. Then add in all the personal commitments and family needs and there is very little time to play with. 

Feeling under time pressure is stressful and leads to us being less efficient in the long run. Too much to do and too little time to do it in is not a desirable combination. So what can we do to improve things?

Creating time boundaries 

Time is valuable and implementing protective measures to ensure that it is being used wisely and in line with your values is essential. These boundaries need to be in place in every aspect of your life as time is a critical factor at home, work and socially. To set successful time boundaries you need to understand your priorities and establish what is important. The time boundaries that you create will prevent you from overcommitting and feeling under pressure less often. It does take practice and a little confidence but you can do it!

Examples of helpful time boundaries include:

“I can’t be there on this occasion because I already have a commitment.”

“Thank you for asking me but I already have plans for that day.”

“We have a rule that Sunday afternoons are for family, so unfortunately I cannot attend.”

“This doesn’t align with my goals right now but I can suggest someone who may be interested.”

“I can definitely come along but I can only stay for the first hour.”

Be clear in your own mind about what it is you need. 

Consider these three thoughts when someone asks you for your time:

1. It is flattering to be asked. It means that the person who is requesting sees you as capable.
2. Will doing this task bring you joy or be advantageous to you?
3. What will you have to not do in order to do this one thing?

It is always acceptable to decline when you know your boundaries. Be polite, express gratitude for thinking of you and be clear that you cannot accept. The first time you use these boundaries I guarantee that you will feel empowered and revel in the fact that your day is less time stressed. 

If you are keen to learn more ways to feel good about your time and feel less burdened by all your responsibilities join The Mint Door for our most popular virtual workshop: 
Unburden
When: September 7th 2022 at 7pm EST 
Where: Zoom Virtual Room

This workshop will definitely leave you feeling more calm, lighter and unburdened. 




I'll Do It After

After is not always easier or better...

Dr. Karen Tindall


I’ll do it after…

I’ll do it after the summer, after the holidays, after the winter, after the weekend, after, after, after.

There always seems to be a reason to put things off for a time when it feels that it will be easier, there will be more time or you’ll have less on your plate. Making life simple can feel like a struggle when there is so much going on and in our pursuit of a less stressed lifestyle we can become master procrastinators but on a big scale that can impact the bigger picture. 

The problem is that after is not always better or easier. Parents are older, children grow up and teenagers develop their need for independence. In what can seem like the blink of an eye, missed opportunities are scattered behind us as we continue in our quest for simplicity. 

Likely, there is never the right time to implement a new idea at work. It is difficult to find the most convenient time to redecorate the house. Trying to organize a family get-together, well there, is a Herculean task. Plans and ideas like these get put off for another time, but also consider what else you are delaying and missing out on. A more leisurely day because your team at work works more efficiently, the delight you have in loving your new color scheme in your living room, and the joy of having the generations of your family sharing stories and memories. 

Perhaps you use the I’ll do it after technique to avoid doing the things you don’t enjoy doing so much. Your annual health check, the car service, getting the tax done. I’m sure you’ll agree that the tasks that fit into this category are all better done sooner than later. Emergency car repairs and last-minute tax preparation are no fun at all. 

Why not try these three ways to swap, I’ll do it after to I’ll do it now?

1. Anything on your to-do list that you have total control over and can be achieved without any support, get it done today or tomorrow. 

Things that fit here are the appointments you need to make, the small tasks around the house, phone calls etc. 

2. Establish which ideas and tasks you need support with. 

Identify who will assist or work with you to make your idea real. Together create a timeline and hold each other accountable. Working on something with someone else is more fun and can increase the chances of seeing it through.

3. Put far-off plans on a calendar

Talk of a family reunion next year can be turned into a date on the calendar. The same can be done for a vacation with long-distance friends. Once dates make it onto a calendar they become much more likely to happen. So to turn your vision into a reality, get it on everyone’s schedules. 

I’ll do it after very often, never happens at all. Changing your perspective from procrastinating to proactive will mean the new ideas will come to fruition, you will get to share coffee with friends you’ve not seen in ages and spend precious time with loved ones (even better if you can do that on a beach in the Caribbean!)

Go forth and take action. What’s the first thing you’re going to do?

If you are looking to make the most out of your time and find time to do the things you enjoy with the people you love, our exclusive members’ club at The Mint Door provides you with the inspiration, ideas, and motivation to make the changes that will propel you forwards to the life you want and need. 
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Follow the link to join as a member today and join a fabulous community of women doctors who want the same as you! 
Find out more about The Mint Door Membership HERE:
https://www.themintdoor.net/the-mint-door




Open the Door to Employee Engagement

Become the Practice Everyone Wants to Work At

Dr. Laura Schwindt


Sensational teams know that culture is a valuable key to unlocking success. Bonds become strong when team members feel safe, valued, empowered, and aligned.

The leader is critical in setting the stage for a safe environment, contributing direction, and providing resources—one crucial virtue that drives the emotional motor to increased productivity and profitability; is hope. 

The definition of hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a sure thing to happen, a sense of trust.

When your team has hope, it increases awareness of purpose, collaboration, and success. 

In the book, Making Hope Happen, Shane J. Lopez, Ph.D., tells us that if a leader doesn't inspire hope, only 1% of your team will be engaged in your mission! 

On the other hand, when there is a healthy amount of hope, the engagement increases to 69%!

As a leader, you can inspire hope by implementing three essential components into your mission. Rick Snyder was the founder of research into the science of hope, and he defined the three components: 

Goals:
You have a project and a future to be excited about, believing that the future will be better than the present.

Willpower:
You embody agency, a sense of personal power that creates certainty that you can accomplish your goal despite obstacles.

Waypower:
You can map out several different plans and paths to achieve your goal. You accept your first plan may not work out perfectly and are open to taking other paths to reach your goal. 

Unlocking the power of hope within a practice is one of the cornerstones of the Stepping Stones Practice Wellness Program. 

Bringing their expertise as dentists and professional life coaches, Dr. Karen and Dr. Laura support the leaders of the practice with a bespoke program that focuses on each team member's total wellbeing. 

The Stepping Stones Practice Wellness Program creates a custom combination of 1:1 coaching, group coaching, virtual and in-person workshops catered to the practice's specific needs. Doing this helps the leadership keep a close connection to their team so they can focus on their roles as primary clinician and owner. 

Encouraging teammates to lift up their co-workers and support the overall hope of the practice becomes a reality when each team member feels like the leadership values their whole-person wellbeing. 

A team whose wellbeing is being looked after and cultivated is the best way to energize your practice with high-hope and consistent engagement. You, your practice, your team and your patients deserve a brighter and more productive tomorrow!

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To learn more about the Stepping Stones Practice Wellness Program visit:
OR
Schedule a complimentary Team Harmony Lunch and Learn here:


5 Ways to Explain the Mental Load You Carry

Is it getting too heavy?

Dr. Karen Tindall


Mental load cannot be seen, quantified or felt by anyone but the person who experiences it. This makes it difficult to understand and hard for others to appreciate. It leads to a feeling of being weighed down, underappreciated and overwhelmed. Together these feelings can create a situation where the person who is experiencing the heavy mental load feels alone, frustrated and that the burden for everything lies with them. 

Mental load is most commonly felt by the person in a relationship who identifies as a woman. It’s a distinctly woman related phenomenon even within the workplace. The simplest way to define it is always being the one to remember. 

When trying to explain mental load to others it can appear as nagging or complaining, which are frequently met with the phrases, “You should have asked for help” or “Just tell me what to do.” The vast majority of well meaning people who say these sentences really do mean well but do not realise that neither option relieves the mental load. 

Here are five ways to explain your mental load when you want someone to understand so you can begin to lighten it. 

Mental load is made up with:

Planning - what is for dinner, grocery lists, who needs to be where and when, trips and travel. Add your own ideas here…
Remembering - feeding pets (and children!), getting the mail in, sweeping the floor, completing tax returns, taking the trash out. Add your own ideas here …
Awareness - the new stain on the carpet that needs attention, the outdoor lightbulb that went out, the blocked drain, the laundry pile that just gets larger! Add some things in here that only you notice…
Responsibilities - being the one who gives the dog his flea and tick medicine, who cleans the bathrooms, who makes sure the children have clean clothes, who has an awareness of how much toilet paper is in the house! Add in some of your responsibilities…
Manager tasks - booking hair appointments, arranging the lawn care service, reminding your partner there’s a school sports game tonight. Add in some things that you oversee and manage…

A word of caution as you bring this conversation up. It is an emotional subject and conversations could be seen as confrontational topic if you charge in like a bull in a china shop. It is very possible that your partner may feel that they are being shown everything they do not do and where they are lacking. 

Approach this conversation from a perspective of how you want to improve life for the both of you. After all, when your mental load is lessened you will have more space for joy. This is all about creating a way of life that works for you both. This is a partnership and you can create solutions together. 

The solution needs to be fair but as all relationships are different it does not have to be equal. Do what works for the both of you and enjoy the relief of a lightened mental load. 

Is your MENTAL LOAD just TOO HEAVY?
...
JOIN US FOR:
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"UNBURDEN: The Workshop to Lighten Your Mental Load"
WHEN: Wednesday September 7, 2022
TIME: 7 pm EST
WHERE: Virtual Zoom!


Bedtime Procrastinator

Getting Revenge on Your Busy Day!

Dr. Karen Tindall
It’s 9.05pm and after a busy day at work I am sitting on the sofa scrolling through the Netflix menu searching for something to watch. Despite there being more choices than it would ever be humanly possible to watch I cannot find something that draws me in. So instead of TV I swap to Facebook and mindlessly scrolls through. Then I proceed to do the same with Instagram. All the while I am feeling increasingly fatigued and worn out. My body and mind are giving me every clue possible to go to bed yet something is stopping me from getting up off the couch and heading to bed. 

Does this scenario feel familiar and resonate with you? If you know this situation for yourself it’s likely you are experiencing revenge bedtime procrastination (RBP). This is when you make a decision to sacrifice sleep for leisure when you have a schedule that is so busy you don’t have much free time. The ‘revenge’ part comes from the fact that we are taking revenge upon our busy day. 

Bedtime procrastination can happen on the sofa or in your bed. If you’re someone who plays on their phone in bed and despite heavy eyelids continues to scroll or watch cute videos of cats you may also be your own victim of RBP. 

Having a busy and demanding career can take up the majority of your time. Revenge bedtime procrastination is the result of trying to find time to relax, chill out and entertain yourself at the expense of sleep. 

We all know how important sleep is to allow our bodies to rest, repair and re-energize yet we somehow allow this bedtime procrastination to keep us awake. We might be really motivated people at 9am in the morning but after a long day when we feel that we just need to sit down for a little while we become expert procrastinators!

So what can you do to prevent you being a revenge bedtime procrastinator? The answer is good sleep hygiene. Examples of good sleep hygiene include:

Try to get up and go to bed at a similar time every day 7 days a week.
Avoid caffeinated drinks at least 8 hours before bedtime. Have a ‘sleep’ tea.
Avoid alcohol in the late afternoon and evening.
Put your devices down at least 90 minutes before bed. 
Listen to your body and it’s clues. If it’s telling you that you are tired, go to bed. Don’t fight it! 
Try some relaxation techniques such as reading, bedtime meditation, having a bath or gentle stretching. 

So next time you find yourself about to delay bedtime when you’re actually really tired don’t distract yourself with tv, devices or social media. Be strong and head to bed!

As a member of The Mint Door, you will join a team that puts a high priority on quality sleep! 
Find out more about The Mint Door Membership HERE:

Listen to Your Voice, Not Your Echo

Do you really want to fit in?

Dr. Laura Schwindt
I vividly remember the moment. It was the summer between 4th and 5th grade at a friend's birthday party. The year was 1980, and some significant trends were just getting started. 

The sun shone through the evergreen trees onto a group of giggling girls jumping on a trampoline. They were all wearing the same blue jeans with a fun design embroidered on one back pocket. The trampoline was shimmering as they all continued to bounce and flip for what seemed like forever to me.

I was not having fun. I wanted to explore the woods and be among the trees. Also, I did not have designer blue jeans with fun embroidery on the back pocket. I didn't belong, and I felt it. I wondered what I needed to do to feel like I belonged. At that moment, I decided I needed to start jumping on the trampoline, and I made a mental note to beg my mom to buy me a pair of those jeans. 

Fitting in is like the wind. One moment it blows a gentle breeze that makes you feel relaxed, tickling your skin and enticing your hair to dance. The next moment it blows with the force of a hurricane, pushing you into directions you may or may not want to go, howling so loud you can't hear your voice.

At that birthday party in 1980, jumping on the trampoline, I remember wondering why I wanted to be out in the forest, and nobody else did. Reflecting on that moment now, I realize that no one knew I wanted to explore the woods because I was too worried about fitting in to voice my desire. It's possible someone else may have wanted to dance in the trees, too, but they were too busy fitting in with the rest of us!

Brené Brown tells us, "Belonging so fully to yourself that you're willing to stand alone is a wilderness-an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can't control it or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it's the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand."

You may have similar memories of trying to fit in. When you jog down memory lane and think of these times, what exactly do you feel? For me, I start to feel a knot in my stomach, and my heart begins to beat a little faster. I may even start to breathe quickly or even hold my breath. 

My path as a high achiever led me down several roads of trying to fit in or conform to societal norms and pressures. The harder I tried, the more I felt I was not good enough. Looking back, I don't think I wanted to fit in. What I longed for was to belong.

To belong, you get to inhabit any space as your true self. Not changing yourself but being comfortable with yourself and owning your uniqueness can seem scary, but it requires much less effort and brings much more peace and joy. To show up as your authentic self takes courage and a constant reminder that you are already OK, just as you are. Remember, fitting in may seem more manageable, but it's also easy to lose little pieces of you when you try to fit in. 

Once you understand that you would rather belong than fit in, you can celebrate this and bring it into all areas of your life. As women doctors, we are often in leadership positions and fostering environments of belonging can enhance our daily experience of life and empower others to do the same. 

A belonging workplace environment allows others to share ideas, become enhanced problem solvers, and work together with more harmony and joy.

Simple Actions To Foster Belonging:
*Check-in with others. Ask how things are going professionally and personally.
*Ask for opinions from those that are often quiet during group discussions.
*Celebrate everyone's unique gifts often and openly.
*Continually ask for input and encourage curiosity and questions.
*Remember, to be understood, you should first aim to understand.

A simple and interactive values exercise is one of the best ways to move towards a more belonging work environment. It's always one of the first tasks during our Practice Wellness Programs, and we are always impressed with how this key opens the doors to enhanced team culture. 

To learn more about how The Stepping Stones Practice Wellness Program can bring more belonging to your team, follow the link HERE:

Choose the path of belonging for yourself and for those you surround yourself with in life. Belonging is your home. And, you don't need to wear blue jeans with special embroidery on the back pocket, I promise!

Not All Days are the Same


Do you have a favorite day of the week? 

Dr. Karen Tindall
Do you have a favorite day of the week? How about the day you least look forward to?

What makes those days the best or the worst of the week? I just had a conversation with my teenage daughter today about how Wednesdays are the day she dreads. When I asked her why that was she replied it is because she does not get any breaks, all her classes are back to back. It feels like a marathon of hard classes.

For me I’ve never really appreciated Thursdays. It just seems like the day when most people feel irritable, tired or short tempered. Almost at the end of the week but not quite. It can seem like an uphill day. I’ve felt this way since I was a child when both my parents worked late on Thursdays and I think it has prejudiced how I look at Thursdays ever since.

Thursday was always one of my long days in my dental practice. I felt under pressure to finish on time. I should mention that I was the only one who put this pressure on myself. It was created entirely within my head. My girls had to go to after school programs and I would collect them in the dark and rain. I never wanted them to be the last ones to be picked up and by the time I got to them we were all tired and ready to be at home.

One Thursday I had a realization. I was spending 1 out of every 7 days, that is 14% of my time not enjoying my day simply because it was a Thursday!

So I decided to do an experiment. Could I change my mindset about Thursdays?

Here was the plan of action:

*Reframe that Thursday was really no different than any other work day.
*Find positive things about Thursday and really focus on them.
*Start a Thursday morning gratitude practice.
*Align my values with Thursdays.
*Start to believe that Thursdays are just as precious as all the other days too!

Bit by bit I started to implement these steps into my Wednesday evenings and Thursdays. It was clear to me that I wasn’t upholding one of my values. It is really important to me that I don’t have to feel rushed or constantly keep watching the time. Thursdays were so busy I always kept one eye on the clock so I would not run late and leave work promptly. After school care didn’t like waiting for a dentist whose final patient showed up 20 minutes late!

I created new boundaries that when my final patient was late my receptionists would always check with me if I could see them first before letting them take a seat in the waiting room. This new system really started to work. The front office staff supported me and together we were able to politely manage the late patients and their expectations.

Positivity and gratitude practices take very little time to do but their effects are far reaching. Bit by bit I was able to change my long standing prejudice of Thursdays and was able to appreciate that I can enjoy the day regardless of its name!

Letting Go Allows More Room for What You Desire

This too shall pass

Dr. Laura Schwindt
Laying on the floor of the gymnasium, breathing like a maniac, my mom told me something that forever changed my life. 

My mom has this saying, and it infuriates me when she says it! 

 "This too shall pass."  

There was the time I caught a salamander when I was five years old. Now, this was a typical salamander; slimy and smelly. I LOVED this salamander. I wanted to create a habitat for him in one of the cool whip containers from the Tupperware drawer. Just as I took the scissors to punch breathing holes in the lid, my mom stopped me. She didn't want me to destroy the top. (I mean, it was a perfect and fully functioning cool whip container!) 

Being resourceful, I decided to fabricate the cover from aluminum foil which I could then poke breathing holes in and save the cool whip lid. Genius, right??? Well, until Slimy decided the aluminum foil was no match for his escape attempt and tore through a hole to his freedom. 

I was devastated. I felt like I couldn't go on. 

Mom, "This too shall pass."

Me: "This is never going to pass!"

Time went by, she was right, the feeling passed. 

When I was in High School, I had a goal to get straight A's. In one of my required Phy Ed classes, Pickle Ball, our grade depended on our performance at the end of the semester tournament. I gave it my all game after game, knowing my grade depended on it. I placed 3rd and received a B. It was my only B in high school. 

I was devastated. I felt like I couldn't go on. 

Mom, "This too shall pass."

Me: "This is never going to pass!"

Time went by, she was right, the feeling passed. 

My mom detested the word Fart. My sister and I LOVED the word Fart. Each time we would use the phrase FART, my mom would calmly correct us, "Passing gas, please."

The only thing my mom detested more than the word FART was a telephone call interrupting dinner. One night, while we were enjoying a lovely spam dinner, the phone rang. My mom bristled, stomped over to the phone, and picked it up. The person on the other line (probably sensing my mom's anger in the 'hello,' hung up. 

"Oh, you FART-Head!" my mom yelled. 

My sister and I BURST out in laughter! Don't you mean "Passing Gas Head, Mom?" 
We continued to laugh and joke about it through the rest of dinner. 

Mom was NOT amused, and my dad had to remind her, "This too shall pass." 

And it did. My mom passed away after a 5-year journey through Leukemia. It was 2006. My kids were 5,3 and 1. 

The pain was unbearable. 

I was devastated. I felt like I couldn't go on. 

Mom, "This too shall pass."

Me: "This is never going to pass!"

Time went by; she wasn't right this time; the feeling didn't pass. 

My life felt like it was at a standstill for 13 years. 

Fast forward to me on that gymnasium floor. The description I read of the live breathwork class urged me there:

 "A breathing technique that will clear out all stored negative emotional baggage from your body."

After about 40 minutes of breathing, I felt my mom. Then I saw her. Tears streamed down my face, and I got angry with her.

You always said, "This too shall pass." When? When will my grief of losing you pass? WHEN?

She put her hand on my head and calmly said,
"When you let it." 
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-Roy T. Bennett says, 
"Time doesn't heal emotional pain; you need to learn how to let it go."

And so I offer you this, 

Freeing yourself from the chains of the past, you release the future to be unlike it.

Start small. Life will start helping you.

Surrender, allow gratitude for whatever shows up and find joy in what is. 

The less you hold on to, to more open you are to receive what is next. 

And the next time you feel like you can't go on, remember:

"This too shall pass if you let it."
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I wrote this to present as my 5-minute speech if I happened to make the finals of the Dentistry's Got Talent contest in 2021. I didn't make the cut, so this never did get spoken. But this morning, I heard a song on my Peloton ride that reminded me of it: "This too shall pass" by OK Go.

Now I ask you, what do YOU need to let pass?
Self-doubt
Fear
A grudge
Envy
Grief
Stories
Shame
Indecision
Or, maybe a fart!

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